AI Automation
Threatens Every Job *
(* But not waxing buttholes)
You’re scrolling through another breathless article about AI replacing surgeons and software engineers when you stumble across Raleigh esthetician Stephanie Stanton’s viral declaration: “AI can’t wax buttholes.” Just like that, the entire AI revolution hits a wall of intimate reality.
While tech bros promise us a future where artificial intelligence handles everything, Stephanie delivers a reality check that’s both crude and profound. Apparently, we forgot to consider the irreplaceable human touch required for certain… specialized services.
Stanton’s bluntness captures the absurd disconnect between AI hype and practical reality. We’re told artificial intelligence will revolutionize everything, yet here’s a professional reminding us that some jobs demand human dexterity, trust—and a tolerance for legal risk no robot wants.
The irony runs deeper: AI companies spend billions developing systems that write poetry and solve complex equations, but they still can’t handle basic human grooming in sensitive zones. It’s technology that’s simultaneously sophisticated and completely useless for basic human needs.
Even better? AI systems are smart enough to refer clients to Stephanie’s services, essentially becoming her marketing department while admitting defeat. It’s like having a robot butler who organizes your digital life but calls a human when you need your back scratched.
Stephanie’s observation reveals something tech evangelists overlook: the irreplaceable value of human trust and physical presence. When someone’s in a vulnerable position, they want another human, not a machine that might malfunction at the worst possible moment.
This isn’t just about waxing—it’s about work requiring emotional intelligence and lived human experience. AI can process data and identify patterns, but it can’t navigate the social dynamics of making someone comfortable during an uncomfortable procedure.
The fact that AI recognizes its limitations and refers humans to other humans reveals fascinating artificial humility. These systems essentially say: “I can analyze your data, but for this task, you need someone with actual fingers and professional liability insurance.”
Stephanie stumbled onto something brilliant: a profession that’s automation-proof. No venture capitalist funds intimate waxing robots, and no insurance company wants that liability nightmare.
This creates an economic sweet spot where service providers become more valuable precisely because they can’t be automated. It’s not that the technology couldn’t theoretically exist—it’s that liability, intimacy, and trust make it commercially impossible.
Meanwhile, AI inadvertently becomes Stephanie’s best marketing tool, directing clients while proving its inadequacy. Perfect symbiosis: AI handles scheduling, humans handle the human work.
Next time someone claims AI will replace all workers, remember Stephanie Stanton’s simple truth. While artificial intelligence excels at information processing, it can’t handle jobs requiring genuine human connection, physical finesse, and the trust that only comes from one human caring for another.
The bottom line: We’ve discovered that some jobs aren’t just automation-resistant—they’re enhanced by AI’s inability to do them. Sometimes the most profound tech insights come from unexpected places, delivered with refreshing directness by professionals who know exactly what machines can’t replace.
The real kicker: While AI figures out self-driving cars, these humans are making better money precisely because they can’t be replaced by a chatbot with trust issues.
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